This is not a plea for a job, OK? This is just me…I don’t know, getting things off my chest.
I heard another ‘No’ today on yet another job application. It get’s frustrating. I have gotten so discouraged. Here I am, intelligent, capable, WILLING, and not too proud to work. It seems that, when you are dismissed from a Military base, you pretty much are dismissed from a great many opportunities. I make no excuses. I was rightfully dismissed. Besides, the whole story would get more than me in trouble, so I am content to be in this position.
In my frustration, I decided to go for a walk. That didn’t help. I got home,. I was still grumpy, because taking a walk didn’t help. Besides, my conscience was bothering me. I am learning how to write. How to blog, how to journal, etc. They only writing I had ever done in my life was poetry, and seminary papers. And that, my friend was a very long time ago.
The day I got fired from the base, I felt disoriented. This is all I had been doing for the last two years. And this work was good, and I am good at it. As you surely know, by now, I have recently returned to the Lord. So, I prayed. I prayed HARD. What was I going to tell my wife…my daughter? Why was this happening? I had worked hard for my credentials. Now they were worthless.
As I prayed, I felt a strong sense of calm overcome me. That kept me from going into a panic. I slowed the car down (It is a 2 hour commute from the Base to Home). I didn’t realize I had been speeding.
By time I slowed the car down, I was actually so calm, I could actually smile. (That, in itself was rare for me). You hear about those “Charismatic Weirdo’s” who say they heard from God. I always rolled my eyes at that. I had to take all that eye rolling back. I mean, really, when you roll your eyes at God, HE could very well roll them right back at you, and you wouldn’t enjoy it.
I heard from God. I didn’t take the time to make sure I was not becoming a “Charismatic Weirdo”, or anything like that. I mean, I was really busy HEARING from God. It was the most wonderful, calming experience I had ever had.
He asked me what I’d rather do. I told Him, “You Know, O Lord!”
Sound familiar? What was that that Ezekiel said to God when God asked Zeke, ‘Do you think I can take these bones and bring them back to life?” or some thing like that. And Ezekiel, being the courageous one of God, said, “God Knows!”. He was hedging His bet. It wasn’t that Ezekiel DIDN’T think God couldn’t raise the bones in the desert back to life, it was just that, well, what if it is a trick question? Zeke knew God was testing him. But Zeke wasn’t sure he had studied hard enough for the test. So he said, “Thou knowest, O Lord” or something like that. Turns out, God raised the bones and made a legion of soldiers. That be a LOT of soldiers. Zeke suddenly realized the point. God can do what ever he pleases. And it pleases God to have Ezekiel serve Him. Where I come from, that is called a HUGE object lesson.
So, when God asked ME, “What would you rather do, Dave?” and I said “Thou Knowest, O Lord”, I swear I could see him glare at me like my third grade teacher did when I hit her with a huge spit wad. (I got out of a beating by telling her I just wanted to get her attention so I could tell her she was beautiful…I am going to burn in HELL, I KNOW!)
It was a cop out. I wasn’t used to the Almighty riding along in my car, and asking me questions, OK?!?
But I did get a chance to stop and think. Thank God God is merciful and abundant in Grace, too. I figured I was going to be the worlds largest Chicken Wing, or something like that.
I listed off several things. I used to play French Horn. But He said, you can practice at home, but no. Well, I used to play piano. Same answer. We went like this for about 60 miles. I gotta say, God is also very patient. My nick name isn’t Jack Ass for nothing, you know…go ask my ex wife and my curent wife. I got tired of playing this game. And I asked God to just tell me what it is HE wants me to do, and I will do it.
He asked me if I still had that old fire in the belly for writing. I looked askance at the empty passengers seat, and said, “You’re kidding, RIGHT?” I am sure that is why the trucker that saw me do this sped way the heck up. What would YOU think?
He said, “David, you want to serve me?” I said “Thou Knowest, O Lord!”, but then repented and said very affirmatively, “I’d rather serve you than be the richest man on the planet”, or something like that. There were a string of affirmations going on at the time. I mean, I hadn’t even acknowledges there is a God for 20 YEARS. And I really wanted to return to God’s fold, and serve. There is nothing better in this life than serving God.
He told me to write. Every day. Put it in a blog. You can only imagine what I thought about that. I have read my writing, it bored hell out of me. So, I was wondering if boring hell out of people was His way of getting people to run toward the scriptures, which are infinitely less boring than my writing. (Believe me, on this, I have read the Bible too).
He told me that, while HE finds the right place for me to work, I need to keep myself busy writing. He said he plans on using that gift as it develops. I asked min if he had ever looked at my writer’s portfolio? He looked askance at me…well, at least the empty passenger seat looked askance at me.
He said he would let me know what to write, and when. I have to say, that so far, he has done just that.
My last two blogs concerned Who Is The Church. I told God, Look, I can’t just go around shooting my mouth off like that, and not walk it, too!!! he let me know He will take care of that, but for now, keep writing.
Here’s the deal. I am not trying to be some great writer of great expose. I am just doing what I have been told. My hearts desire is, yes, to be good at writing, and writing about the things of God. And my burning desire is to be part of the next revival that needs to break out over the land. This planet is using the biggest steam shovel it can just to dig a hole to Hell.
I thought about what Jesus said to the Disciples just as He was about to ascent back into Heaven.
And Jesus came up to them and spoke to them, saying, ‘All authority has been given unto Me in Heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matt. 28:18-20
And that is my hearts desire. To obey. But I know that God is right. I have been away for 20 years, and there is a trust issue. If I am faithful in this little thing of writing every day, He will be faithful to bless me for obeying.
I have been given a commission. You have also been given a commission. You do not need anyone’s permission to obey. Trust me when I tell you, your family will think you are crazy. Especially when you tell them that you had a chat with the Almighty. Take Jesus, for an example. Here he was, running around Israel, raising people from the dead, healing the sick, and telling everyone, “If you have seen me, you have seen the Father.” And his very own family told people Jesus was crazy. That is your Bible Drill for the day. Find where that is written in the Gospels).
Until the day God calls me to higher things, I will obey. Even when I don’t feel like obeying, like today. I was discouraged. I didn’t even know what I was going to write about. But as I got to the library, God showed me what to say.
Just imagine what He has to say to you, if you’ll listen.
The world is dying, out there. Let’s be about it.
I love you.
David G. Perkins