Faith

The Day I Mooned Jesus


JesusLoookedPNGIf anyone knows me well, they will tell you if it can happen, it’ll happen to me.  I often do things on the fly, without thinking.

I was at Fort Leonard Wood Military Base.  Fort Leonard Wood is a Multi-disciplinary base, where Army, Marines, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard and many foreign military came to learn specific skills.

I was troubleshooting some equipment in one of the Chapels on the base.  This chapel was used by the Army and the Marines for their services.  The Army had already had their morning services and I was told I have one hour to get in the Chapel and do whatever I needed to do.

There was a piece of equipment in the kitchen that was supposed to be telling a piece of equipment way on the otherside of the chappel what kind of day it was having.  For that to happen, a wire was run from the kitchen clear across the chapel to the other side of the building.  The nature of this wire is, it is intolerant of being bent to tightly, or of having anything sitting on it at all.  If either of these things is true, the wire is not able to carry the signal that the Kitchen Device was sending .

I had one hour to get it fixed.  The wire in question was running on top of a steel beam 2 feet above a 20 foot tall chapel ceiling. The problem was someone had laid a heavy board over the wire.  By this time I had 15 minutes before the Marines were marched in by their Drill Instructor for the Marines Services.

I had a 15 foot ladder.  I am a little ove 5’9″.  If I stood on the very top of the ladder and hopped, I could reach the steel beam, pull myself up and fix the problem.  My hope was the wire wasn’t crushed too badly and all I had to do was move the heavy board off the wire. I moved the board.   The wire looked fine (It eventually passed the signals test.)

This is where life got interesting for me.  I had to get back down from the rafter to the top of the ladder.

I forgot to mention that, ever since I turned 37, I began fighting a weight problem.  I was over 40 by this time.  And heavy.  Getting up to the beam was very hard to do, but I did it.  It never occurred to me how difficult it would be to get back down.  I decided to hang by my hands off the beam right above the top of the ladder and drop down to the top of the ladder.  It was, afterall, only about a foot space between the bottoms of my boots to the top of the ladder. (OK, all you OSHA safety nuts on Linkedin, get a grip. Breathe into a paper bag, you’ll be just fine in a jiffy.)

The good news about my weight is, I had recently lost about 20 pounds.  My pants were nice and loose as opposed to being so tight I couldn’t breathe.  This was good for climbing up to the rafters.  This is not so good when getting back down.

When I let go of the rafter and landed solidly on the top of the ladder, my pants and underwear fell down around my boots.  To say I was in an awkward state is to completely understate the situation.

I bent over to pull my pants back up just as the Marines were being escorted into the chapel.  I was moonng the Marines.  I didn’t know this unitl I heard the Drill Instructor bark, “Eyes Front!, One sound from anyone, and I’ll wreck your whole day.”  Things got really quiet as the Chaplain and the Sergeant rounded my ladder to look up at me.

If ever I longed for the rapture, it was right then.

I did my best to spin around so I wouldn’t be mooning the Marines only to find myself mooning a portrait of Jesus that was hanging on the wall of the Chapel.

I was done for.

The Chaplain politely cleared his throat while the Sergeant stared daggers at me, and a bunch of raw recruits were doing all they could not to explode with laughter.

I recovered what was left of my dignity and got out of the chapel as fast as I could.  I heard the Chaplain opening the service with, “All things bright and beautiful, all things great and small, all things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all.”

Why did I just tell you one of the most embarasing moments of my life? (Trust me, hat’s not the only one, and hardly the most embarrasing!).

God tends to choose the last person we would chose to do the very thing no one else will do.  What really matters isn’t how together you are, or intelligent, or beautiful, or any of that nonsense.  What matters is you love the Lord and are willing and available to take up your cross and follow him.

Don’t worry how you look to others, but have the heart to reach out to all the rest of the messy people in this world.  They need you.

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” – Isaiah 6:8

 

Let’s be about it.

David G. Perkins

sammy.snardfarkle@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Faith

How To Be A Modern TV Journalist


AUTHOR’s NOTE:  This is an edited reprint from WAAAY back.  I’ve edited it a bit.  I thought in light of all the insanity, this would be fun.  Enjoy };-D

Of the roughly millions of imaginary readers of my blog, I receive about 3000 imaginary e-mails a day, asking me for advice on a wide variety of subjects.

I recently received just such an e-mail from a High School Senior at Colon High School, Colon, Mich. Millicent Nederhose asked me not to use her real name, so out of respect for her privacy, I’ll call her “Slagathor.”

Slagathor’s e-mail reads as follows:
“Dear Mr. Poindexter (I decided not to use my real name either),

I read, like, nearly everything you post, and, like, I was wondering, like, if you can tell me how to, like, be a T.V. Journalist?

Like, your devoted fan,
‘Slagathor’ (Not her real name)”

Here is my response to this forward-thinking young woman:

Dear ‘Slagathor’,

Let me be the first to congratulate you on your career choice! Journalism School can be tough. Not all Journalism Majors make it to the big leagues.

I appreciate you asked me instead of someone who actually is a Journalist, or teaches Journalism, or even has a college degree, or has at least driven through the parking lot of a Junior College on his way to Wal-Mart to buy a paper.

Having none of those qualifications, I will be happy to guide you through a preliminary hurdle that should show you if Journalism is the right choice for you.

I want you to know I have already done a great deal of research (a term you might not hear in Journalism school) on this topic.

All week long, I have been watching endless hours of in-depth T.V. Journalism. From this research, I have developed a short quiz that, I believe, will help you know if you can make the cut to the “Breaking News” world of T.V. Journalism.

There are 3 multiple choice questions, with the answer following each item. Please choose YOUR best answer to the question before reading the correct answer derived from my in-depth research. Relax, take a deep breath, and do your level best.

Q1) Define ETHICS

  1. A) Doing the Right Thing, for the Right Reason, at the Right Time.
  2. B) ETHNICS? Isn’t that, like, a racist question?
  3. C) A sauce you sprinkle on your salad that helps you lose those extra 5 pounds.

ANSWER: Anything but ‘A’.  If you answered ‘A’, you have no business being in Journalism.

Q2) You are the first “On the Spot” reporter on the scene of a terrible accident. You see that 98-year-old Griselda Haskins has been run over by a 1965 Buick. You notice that after the Buick had run over poor Mrs. Haskins, the car careened over the curb and smashed into the front window of a Starbucks.

Tired of being an “On the Spot” reporter, and realizing that what you do next will determine whether you finally get to be an “Anchor” (Another Journalism Term), you do one of the following things:

  1. A) Render First Aid until the ambulance arrives, securing your position as the first “On the Spot” reporter who gets to interview Poor Old Mrs. Haskins and the Police.
  2. B) You step over the prone body of the widow, Mrs. Haskins, to ask the driver how he feels knowing he ruined a perfectly good Starbucks.
  3. C) You order a Latte with extra foam and pretend to do A & B.

ANSWER: ‘C.’ If you answered ‘A,’ you clearly have no grasp of the priorities of the Journalistic profession. Drop your pencil and leave now. If you answered ‘B,’ you are destined to remain an “On the Spot” reporter.

Q3) You have finally made Anchor. Seconds before you go “live” (That is TV talk for being on the air), your editor/producer hands you some “Breaking News” that you KNOW is factually inaccurate. Your future as an Anchor is on the line. You do one of the following:

  1. A) Report the truth. Your Journalistic Integrityand High Ethical Standardswill let you do nothing less than tell the truth. Your loyal viewers deserve nothing less from you.
  2. B) You don’t care because you get paid the same no matter what you report.
  3. C) You finish your latte and read whatever pops up on the Teleprompter.

ANSWER: ‘C.’ If you answered ‘B,’ you return to your former job of “On the Spot Reporter.” If you answered ‘A’, you have no future in any form of Journalism.

I hope, Slagathor, this little quiz has been helpful. You can see, now, that Journalism adheres to a standard that not even New Orleans Prostitutes can lower themselves to. Very few people have what it takes to be a T.V. Journalist.

One last thing, Slag; If you don’t look like a super-model, you don’t stand a chance of ever being in front of a camera. Looks matter more than anything in Television Journalism. You don’t even have to pay close attention to what you are doing if you are attractive and can read a teleprompter. The same holds true for Politicians.

Yours,

Peter Poindexter (Not My Real Name).

 

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Faith

Restored Things – From “Lessons in the Wilderness”


This is a reblog but has come to mean a great deal to me these last 2 years.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

(Psa 51:17)

Broken

We all break. The array of things that break us is astonishing. Each thing is exactly the tool needed to do the breaking.

Most often, we are broken by the big three things:

Lust of the Eye

Lust of the Flesh

The Pride of Life

When we break, we look for a remedy from the pain. Some turn to alcohol. Some turn to sex. Some turn to pills. Some turn to secular solutions, full of promise, empty of results.

If we belong to God we will see that what God could have prevented by His power, He allowed in His wisdom. It is to Him we take our broken pieces.

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, Let the bones which You have broken rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners will be converted to You. (Psa 51:7-13)

Restored

God understands brokenness. Jesus was God in the flesh. Jesus was shattered on the cross for us. Jesus was broken. Yet, He rose again.

God’s strength is revealed in our broken pieces. God mends all that is broken and restores the damaged vessel to a greater purpose. His handiwork is revealed in our brokenness.

What others have written off as trash and useless, God will mend with His pure love. No one is so broken that God cannot mend him. What pieces are discarded, He replaces with Himself. You become a reflection of His own Son in the handiwork of His healing.
BROKEN THINGS BECOME BLESSED THINGS WHEN GOD DOES THE MENDING

Take your broken pieces it to God. His love will repair you and restore you. Your purpose in Him will grow to greater things than before.

Let’s be about it.

David G. Perkins

sammy.snardfarkle@gmail.com

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Faith

Have Mercy


I heard a song on the radio.  The lyrics were about Jesus’ suffering on the cross.  The lyrics were:

“For the sake of His suffering, have mercy on us and on the whole world.”

These lyrics were being repeated over and over and over, as in a chant.  I realized I had tuned into the Roman Catholic Radio station.  The RCs like to keep Christ on the Cross and keep their believers in perpetual shame.  It’s good for business when you can keep your followers believing there is always one more thing you need to do to prove you are worthy of God, but that is a blog for another day.

Even so, I thought about these lyrics.

His Meekness

Before I can address God’s Mercy, I need to discuss Jesus’ Meekness.

When the scriptures say Jesus was meek and mild, God is not saying His son was some light-in-the-loafers, Casper milquetoast.

Meek in Jesus’s case was that although He had the power and authority to wage the most horrible war against all sin and all sinners, He chose to defer his judgement in favor of God’s mercy.

This meek Christ is the same one who braided a whip, beat money changers at the temple and overturned 100 pound tables.

God’s Mercy

Back to the lyrics:

“For the sake of His suffering, have mercy on us and on the whole world.”

The concept of sin is foreign to this world.  Everything goes.  If I say this is sin, or that is sin, I am being politically incorrect.  Who am I , after all, to judge anyone?  OK, I’m no one, and I am not judging you.  That is God’s job.  In God’s eyes, there is sin.  Sin must be punished.  It is written that the wages of sin is death.  All who sin are worthy of death and unworthy of God.  That includes all humanity.  No one is sinless.

With one exception.

The Holy Law is that there is a way to redeem sinners, and that way is accomplished only if one person who is without sin freely gives his life to God; and must be willing to take on all God’s wrath and punishment of all sin on behalf of all sinners, even though he himself is sinless.

That is exactly what Jesus did. Jesus is the only one who was ever without sin.  He willingly and voluntarily became all sin, and was judged by God on our behalf.

There isn’t a sin you can think of that Jesus did not become.  The sinless one became, on our behalf, all sin that ever was and will be.

2Corinthians 5:21  For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. 

For our sake, he died of all our sin.

Sometimes God’s mercies don’t look so merciful.  It is written that it pleased God to kill his own son so that we, His creation would live. (See Isaiah 53:10)

The exchange on the cross is this:  Jesus became all our sin, past present and future. In return, you become God’s own beloved child.

Jesus told Nicodemus

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
(Joh 3:16-18 KJV)

If you accept this free gift from God, you are born again.  If you reject this, you need to understand, you are already dead.

“For the sake of His suffering, have mercy on us and on the whole world.”

Jesus’s suffering was God’s mercy.  If you will accept it.

Let’s be about it

David Perkins

sammy.snardfarkle@gmail.com

 

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Faith

In The Wilderness


For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Rom 8:38-39 AMP)

This Wilderness

We all, eventually, end up in the wilderness. Whether we bring ourselves there or are dragged there against our will or run headlong into it thinking it has to be better than where we are right now or are led there by Ruach ha-Kodesh, the Holy Spirit of Yahweh, we will eventually find ourselves in “The Wilderness. ”

If you haven’t had this fantastic experience, perhaps you should ask why. Read the word, everyone the Father equips for service goes through some kind of experience where his mettle is tested, where he is purified by the refining fire of God, where all the useless dross is scraped away. There, in the wilderness, God prepares a table for you to learn to fellowship with Him and him alone. The question I have to ask myself then, is, have I denied myself and taken up His cross?

The Place Called Wilderness

Moses was kicked out of Egypt…with good reason. The mercy Pharaoh showed Moses by not killing him outright for the crime of murder is where the evidence of the Grace of the Living God began to exert itself. Moses was driven to the wilderness, eventually learning how to do the unprincely task of being a shepherd. Egyptians thought Shepherds were among the unclean and unwashed of society. Shepherds were shunned. Moses became a shepherd. Think of all the things Moses had to unlearn to learn to be a shepherd. It wasn’t until after a long while of being a shepherd that Moses was finally fit to serve the Living God. Moses had to lose the identity he was raised to believe about himself to become someone God could use. It was in that wilderness of humbling that God called Moses to take off his sandals and follow Him. It wasn’t until Moses lost his perceived identity as a Prince of Egypt that he gained the status as “The Friend of God.”

What self-deceptions do I need to shed to become “The Friend of God?”

Elijah had just witnessed the Living God consume the prophets of Ba’al with a holy blowtorch that consumed everything on and around Mt. Carmel. When Jezebel caught wind of this defeat, she sent word that she will personally destroy Elijah. When he heard about this threat, Elijah immediately ran over 80 miles away from Jezebel’s kingdom, then fled even farther into the wilderness. Elijah stopped under a juniper tree and begged God to take his life. Elijah thrust himself into the wilderness because it looked a lot better than his circumstances looked where he was. Fear and doubt are powerful forces. The conditions Elijah found himself in were not what he expected. After witnessing the awesome power of God at work, neither Ahab or Jezebel were moved to recognize the presence or authority of the Living God. Instead, they grew more defiant and angry. Instead of taking on God (Who just demonstrated he can put on a vast Bar B Que) Jezebel and her henpecked lackey, Ahab defied God and wanted to exact revenge on His messenger, Elijah.

Elijah wanted God to let him die, thinking it would be better to die at God’s hand than to suffer the agonies Jezebel was known to mete out to her enemies. He fell asleep from exhaustion.

While he slept, an angel of God made breakfast for Elijah, and gently woke Elijah up and fed him. Elijah was so exhausted he fell back asleep. A second time, the Angel came, woke Elijah and fed him.

After Elijah ate and rested, God gave Elijah evidence that He is always present and that He is the still speaks to His servants, and He gave Elijah new orders.

What we miss in our sermons here is this: God did not berate Elijah, but served him breakfast in bed, demonstrated His love for Elijah and encouraged him to keep going. When Elijah was exhausted and hiding in the wilderness, God showed up and reaffirmed that He is mightier than any circumstances that arise. Grace, not judgement, was what God fed Elijah.

Sometimes we lead ourselves to the wilderness. Even so, God will meet us there, take care of us, reassure us, and show us He is still God over our circumstances.

Have I led myself to a wilderness? Am I willing to be honest with God about my circumstances? Will I listen to His still quiet voice reassure me He is still Lord of my life?

Jesus was led to the wilderness to be tested. The Holy Spirit of God led him there. Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights, and at the end of that time, when he was weakest, Satan tried to tempt Jesus. If Satan did this to Jesus, you could bet he will eventually do this with you. Satan will tempt us with things God has already promised us. He will tempt us by questioning our position in God. Satan will examine your calling and offer what appears to be a better deal than God provided. He will challenge your very existence and ask you to do something foolish to prove you are who God has said you are. In every case, Jesus stood fast on the promises of God. Jesus showed if you resist the evil one, he will flee.

When this kind of wilderness arrives in our lives, rest assured, you will be sifted, and God has your back. God’s word has already equipped, you…know the word of God.

Would I survive this wilderness of testing at the hands of God’s enemies? How well do I know God? How well do I know His word?

Wherever your wilderness is; however you got there, understand that regardless the circumstances, God is in control, He hears you, He will take care of you, and he will fortify you when you are tempted beyond measure.

Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.

(Psa 23:4-5 AMP)

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom He called he also justified, and those whom He justified he also glorified. (Rom 8:25-30 ESV)

In the end, the only time we belong in the wilderness is when God leads us there.

Let’s be about it.

David Perkins

Sammy.snardfarkle@gmail.com

 

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Faith

A Father’s Heart


Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. Luke 15:3-7 NIV

Let me ask you this: Suppose you did all you could to make sure your child knew how to swim. Swimming lessons, life safety classes, even a few snorkeling classes. After all, you were once a lifeguard, and you know the ropes, so you took extra care to make sure she can swim. Then comes a day when you can take her to the lake to play with her friends. You are sure she knows what to do in the water, but you keep an eye out just in case. After all, even the best swimmers can get into the breakers, occasionally.

You start the bar-b-cue pit up, throw some doggies on the burner, some burgers, corn, a few other yummy treats. About the time you have that under control, you look up to see your worst nightmare.

She is drowning.

What do you do?

Now imagine this scenario: You tell anyone who is listening to call 911 while you strip down and get ready to rescue her. But all your friends and other people on the beach try their best to stop you. They tell you that she got herself into this, she needs to get herself out. They say all you will do is make things worse. They tell you if you go in after her, you might drown, too, or get hurt, or she may not want you to rescue her. What if even the lifeguard on duty tells you the same thing?

Will you stand on the shore and let her fend for herself? Will you stop and weigh the possible outcomes? Will you wait and consider the advice of everyone on the beach?

No! You will do all it takes, up to losing your own life to rescue her. She is your life, your heart, and your love. What kind of monster would ignore his own drowning child?

And what kinds of monsters give the advice that everyone gave you?

Now let me ask you this:

Suppose you did all you know how to do to make sure your beloved child knows Jesus Christ? You took her to church. You read the Bible to her. You prayed with her. You made sure she went to Christian schools. And when you look up, you see that she is drowning in a sea of bad choices? What if she isn’t even aware of the extreme danger she has put her soul in?

And just like the people on the beach, you get the exact same advice, even from people who serve the Lord.

Now, try to see this scenario:

When God created us, did He make sure we knew the ropes, and pitfalls to make sure we would always have eternal life with Him in Eden? Did He provide all we needed? Did He pour His love on us?

Imagine how it must have hurt when we rebelled and sinned. Imagine the heart-rending pain when He had to judge us, the earth, and the universe for all our sin?

Did He leave us to our own devices? Did He say, “They got themselves into this mess, they will have to figure it out?”  Did the angels warn Him that, if he interfered, it would only get worse?

Did he write us off?

What did God do?

He came here in the form of a Man and took on the penalty for our sin. He bore the judgment of death on His self so we would not have to. He gave up His kingdom so we can inherit it. He loved us so much that while we are at war with him, He sent Jesus Christ to die in our place, to bear the wrath and judgment of God. Jesus, the God-Man, became all our sin so we can become all his righteousness.

That is what God did.

So, now I ask you; If you see your daughter dying of the very sin Jesus already paid for, what would you do?

It is in the Father’s heart to give his own life for the life of His beloved children.

It is in my heart to give all I have and am to help rescue my child.

It is in this father’s heart to be like the Savior who died for me. I will give all I have to see that my child lives with me in eternity in the presence of the Living God.

Examine your souls, Christian. If you are not willing to lose everything so that others may live, stop saying you are His child. Selfishness is the fruit of Satan.

This father will give all he has unto death if it means his child will live in eternity with Christ. How can I cross the street to witness to a stranger if I am not ready to give up everything for my own child? What hypocrite worries about pain in the face of need? What kind of abject spiritual poverty demands you leave your child to drown in sin?

Godliness begins at home, people. And if you cannot manage that, you have no business taking your brand of Christianity anywhere. I may have failed my daughter in the past, but while I have life, I have hope, and I will spend every ounce of both doing all I can to bring the Love of God to my drowning daughter. I cannot save her, but I know who can. I cannot redeem her, but I know who will. I cannot give up my salvation so she can have it, but I know the one who has already done this.
The greatest gift I have ever received is the love and grace of God through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

It is the only thing I have left worth having in this life, and I will give that to her.

It is what is in this father’s heart.

Go and do the same.

For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! – Romans 5:10 NIV

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