Aside from the millions of imaginary readers, I have yet to get any actual, live, human ones.

That’s OK because my imaginary fans keep throwing parties for me. Yes, they are imaginary parties, but they are a blast, and police have only had to come to my house once.

I love to write.

I love to research. I love to write about what I research.

In fact, the Federal Government was thinking about reading my blogs to terrorists being held at Guantanamo, as it causes nausea, vomiting, and bleeding from the ears.  However, the World Court, in Geneva, decided that this would be a bad idea as it goes beyond cruel and unusual punishment.

Personally, I was crushed. I was going to make a lot of money.

The government found out how effective my writing is when a courier, charged with picking up my writing and delivering it to a team of crack scientists, broke the rules and read my writing. He was found days later, sitting on a street corner, drooling, and spouting gibberish at passerby’s.  The government is sticking with water-boarding, as they do not have to pay my exorbitant royalty fees for each word I write.

So, I hope YOU, the intelligent and cautious reader, will get a lot more out of my blogs than that poor courier did.