Tag Archives: Sin

Faith, Observations

Growing Pains – Lessons From The Kindergarten of God – Part III – Well Intentioned Dragons


“the more i sing and play my music in front of people, the more advice i get. it’s well-meant, coming from people who care about me, but it’s all conflicting. b. says i should play acoustic more. r. says i should rock harder. c. says i sing too loud. k. says i sing too loud too (ok, maybe i sing too loud). but the point is, who do i listen to?”

When dealing with yourself, use your mind. When dealing with others, use your heart. John Maxwell

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:

 And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?  I Kings 19:11-13

“Jesus asked, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”(Matthew 7:3 NIV). Christians seem to be uncontrollably motivated by some deep need to “take the dog by the ears.” (See Proverbs 26:17.) They are always meddling in other people’s stuff. This is one of the main reasons the world hates the church. We have declared ourselves to be the world’s police force. We are the self-proclaimed militant army that is here to police and judge the world, when we should be a loving family who brings hurting people into the family circle by adoption! Our concept of presenting what we mistakenly call the Gospel is to let people know they are sinners so they will realize their need for Jesus. This erroneous concept leads the Christian to think that the best way to let people know they are sinners is to point out their faults-that is, to find the speck in their eye.

Your Heart Dictates How You See

The way we view something is the product of our heart. If we have a critical eye, it is because we have a critical heart. The Bible says, He that hath a froward heart findeth no good” (Proverbs 17:20). A ‘froward heart”is a crooked heart. It is a heart that has been reshaped through the pressures of sin, legalism, religion, or life circumstances. It is a heart that sees only the bad; it cannot find the good. Some people seem to have mistaken criticism for discernment. Criticism is not a gift of the Holy Spirit; it is the product of a corrupt heart. Religion has forged the church into a critical, reactionary society not much different than that of the Pharisees in Jesus’ day.”   James B. Richards. How to Stop the Pain. Kindle Edition.

WELL INTENTIONED DRAGONS

As a New Creation, I sometimes look to other, wiser, Christians for sound advice.  There are some, I have learned through experience, who see through my questions, and hear what my heart is actually asking.  This is a gift of discernment I find most mature Christians have.

There are new Christians, like me, who need to spend much more time in the Bible and Prayer, so we can develop a finely tuned sense of God’s Voice, and God’s Will.

Then there are the well-intentioned dragons.  These are the ones who genuinely love God, and are saved through the blood of Jesus Christ, and even know scripture very well, but something about them sets my teeth on edge.  Figuring out what that something is has taken me some time.  I took that time to look for patterns, and build a baseline that demonstrates the difference between what I hear them say, and the way they say it, against what and how Jesus spoke to people.

THAT IS WHEN I FOUND IT!

Jesus, being God, and unchangeable (YHWH), speaks, and when He speaks…

He doesn’t change, but loves eternally, speaks gracefully, and uses the truth to heal, not hurt.

He is Lord of Lords, meaning His word is the first one, and the last one, because His judgement is true.

He is the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit, as these three are one…when He speaks, all have spoken, they are their own witness, and need no outside verification.

He is the Lord Most High, sitting eternally on the throne…and because we have accepted his free gift of life, we sit next to him, as he is our brother, and GOd is our Father.  THere is none beside him, and no one higher in authority than him.

His word and will is our provision.  He meets all our needs, to grow, to love, to show mercy, to be graceful, because when he became all sin in our place, he gave us all that he is in exchange.

His word smites sin.  No other has this authority.  All other judgement is accusation and comes from the father of lies and his children.  God’s judgement is true, and he deals mercifully with us, as he destroys sin, in us, and in the world.

He is the one and only one who sanctifies us.  His death on the cross paid for your fall, and his resurrection gave us new life…if we will accept this free gift.  He alone is what sanctifies us.

He is the one who marks us with his banner and ensign.  We are his, paid for with His blood.  Our mission in life is to become like Him so that when people see us, they see Him only.  We are his banner, and he is ours.

His blood, and his word heals us.  All he gives us in His love, grace and mercy.  He will do us no harm.  He is not mad at us.  He heals us by the stripes he bore.

He is my ever-present shepherd.  He guides me in the midst of trouble, and leads me to his peace, even in the midst of the storm.  Even His rebuke of me brings me hope and life and health.  No other has this ability, or authority.  He keeps watch over me day and night.

Well intentioned dragons will use the scriptures and their overrated opinion and religion to criticize, destroy, rob you of peace, take your joy.  THe well-intentioned dragons are the first to point out what you did wrong.  Why you should have done it better/different/ or not at all.

Well intentioned dragons have no faith in the genuine work of the cross because they are too busy being religious.  That is why, when GOd sends you to do a thing, they rail against it, they fail to see your vision, they try to improve you so that you will better resemble their opinion of the truth, and fail to comprehend what real truth actually is.

Well intentioned dragons do not feel ok until they have spoken their judgement over you, and “improved” you, and judged you inadequate.  They did this to Jesus, and they will do the same to you.

IF YOU LISTEN

If you listen to the dragons, you will end up worse than they are.

If you listen to the still small voice of the Lord, you will know joy, peace, healing, direction, purpose, strength, courage, and you will know HIM.

IT IS ALL A CHOICE OF WHOM YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE.

Do as he sends you to do, even if it makes no sense, and seems crazy, and no one else trusts you, believes you, understands what and how you are doing it.  You were sent by God, not by well-intentioned dragons.

His presence will calm you and empower you through even the hardest trials and storms.

This is the God I serve.  This is the God I choose to obey.  No matter what it will cost, I have no desire to give ear to the dragons.  I will wait for the still small voice.

I love you,

David Perkins

sammy.snardfarkle@gmail.com

Let’s be about it.

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Faith, Observations

The Looking Glass


In my dreams. Photo by E. Tom Hussey

In my dreams. Photo by E. Tom Hussey

JAMES 1:23-24 – For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.

We interrupt this series on values to bring you this message.

I Corinthians 15:49 – Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven.

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend about how our perception of ourselves affects what we believe is true about ourselves.  For example, I have this self-image of me from when I was in peak athletic condition.

In my minds mirror, I see me as still being fit, muscular, coordinated, strong, with real strength, not bottled strength.  In my minds mirror, I still have long, curly blackish/brown hair, full of waves and curls.  In my mind’s eye, I am still wearing 32 inch waist pants.

What the mirror in my mind ells me.

What the mirror in my mind tells me.

The mind can be a tricky thing, and can lead me to many false assumptions based on what I think is true.  Often, my warped ego guides me to many fallacies and false assumptions.

The other day, I did something I honestly RARELY ever do.  I looked at myself in the mirror.  My first impression was, “Hey!  That’s my Dad!  I thought I buried HIM in 2005!”  But when I moved, so did the man in the mirror.  Then it dawned on my conscious mind, and my ego mind, that is not my dad, but ME!!

It was then I realized why I don’t look in mirrors.  I am not that guy my ego told me I am.  I am the very image of my Dad.

IN THE BEGINNING

When God created us, we were made in the image of God, meaning we looked like he looks.  We were also made in the likeness of God, meaning we used to act as He acted because we saw what he did.

AFTER THE FALL

After the fall, we lost touch with God, and lost what was His likeness.  We were not able to return to our glorified state.  No work we could expend any effort on would make us righteous in God’s eyes, even though we became self-righteous in our own eyes.  The ego can really fool a person.

THEN CAME JESUS

Yes, Jesus is the Son of God.  God said so rather loudly at Jesus’ baptism.  But it was the Son of Man that faced temptation.  It was the Son of Man that asked God to take away the cup.  It was the Son of Man that faced God’s wrath.  It was the Son of Man that rose from the dead to prove he is the Son of God, too.

The Image of Christ

We are asked to be like Christ, but we, on our own are not capable.  The best we can do is try, but we eventually fail.  But the scripture says we need to become like Christ.  Peter was the first person to prove that, if you don’t keep your eyes on Christ, you will fail in your effort to be just like Jesus.  The labor into the rest of Christ likeness was that all Peter had to do was keep his eyes, and faith, on Jesus, and he would have walked on the water, by faith, as he was already doing.

In the Garden of Eden, the wind and waves Adam and Eve faced was the lie that doing something else will make you just like God.  They then doubted they were already like God.  They took their eyes off the facts, and the truth, and considered a lie, and a false premise based on circumstances.  Forbidden Fruit.

THE EXCHANGE

If you will consider this, instead, and accept it as fact, instead of believing what you think you apparently see, you will learn that you are already like Christ, if you have accepted His death and resurrection.  When Jesus became all your sin, you received, in exchange, all that Jesus is.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

II Corinthians 3:18

It is all a matter of what we focus on.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Philippians 2:5-8  

Just like Jesus died of our sins, voluntarily, we are able to die to ourselves, voluntarily, as we labor into the rest of accepting that, all that Jesus was, we inherited when He arose from the dead.  When we keep our understanding on this truth, when we comprehend this exchange, and when we accept it in faith, no matter what we think we look like, you will look to God, like His Son, Jesus, and you will eventually appear to others to have the likeness of Christ, too.

After all, that is why you weren’t raptured the second you believed.  You are the only Jesus people will see.  When they see Jesus in you, they will want to know what happened to make you this way.

We are transformed in to the image of Christ

We are transformed in to the image of Christ

Let’s Be About It!

I love you in the Name of Jesus

David G. Perkins

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Faith, Observations

What Were You Looking For?


what-we-see-depends-mainly-on-what-we-look-for

Philippians 4:8-9 ESV

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”   Galatians 5:22-23 ESV

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!

When I was a teenager, my Dad decided it was time for me to learn how to fly one of his several airplanes.  Considering my driving history, I thought he surely had a screw loose, somewhere.  By time I was 16, I had already totaled a few cars.  Still, I do love to fly, and had always wanted to fly right seat with my Dad on his adventures.

Our airport was the municipal airport in Plainview, Texas.  At over 3300 feet, altitude, the airport has a whole lot of sky to fling your airplane into.  Dad made sure the wind was relatively calm before he would let me take off.  The high plains are very windy much of the time.  There is a saying in Lubbock, Texas (45 miles south of Plainview), that if the wind ever stopped blowing, everyone would fall down.  Wind is a fact of life, there, and you adjust your walking by leaning into the wind.

Taking off into the wind made flying that much more fun, as I had to generate less lift with the engine.  Flying in the wind, however is a challenge.  This is where the word attitude comes in.  In flight, your attitude is the approach you have to take to flying in the wind, ESPECIALLY when you are landing an airplane.  Landing an airplane on a calm day was challenging enough for me, but landing in high wind was a contest between me and the wind to see who will master my aircraft.  This is when attitude becomes everything.

When nature threw strong wind at me, I had to turn the airplane into the wind on approach to the landing strip.  This is called “Crabbing”.  I am approaching a runway almost sideways, and at the last-minute, I correct my attitude so I can land moving in the right direction.  Another factor in landing attitude is that I could approach the runway only in a narrowly defined angle.  This is called the “Glide Path” .   As you approach the runway, you will see a group of lights.  If my glide path is too low, I will see three or more yellow lights.  If my glide path is too high, I will see red lights, if my glide path is correct for the landing approach, I will see green lights.

Maintaining the right attitude for landing is everything, too.  I am already crabbing in to the runway because of a wind situation, and I also must keep my approach angle right.  If I am yellow on approach, I will not land on the runway.  If I am red, I will land too far in on the runway to keep from overshooting.  I must crab in on a green light.

While I am worried about those two aspects of attitude, I also have to make sure my wings are as level as I can keep them on approach, and that my nose is not too high, or too low.  So, there are possibly 4 parts of attitude I must pay attention to when I am landing.  Overdoing or under-doing any part can mean a bad landing.  Bad landings can complicate your life in ways you don’t need.  It was all about attitude.

 

“WELL, THE METAPHOR IS OBVIOUS, ISN’T IT?”

I hope so.

At CATES (Where I work), one of the twelve principles we live by is: “ATTITUDE – We choose to be positive”.   If you want to approach a subject and land on it with successful outcomes, it helps if your attitude is positive.  Being positive makes all the difference in the world.  It is fairly clear, after over 8000 years of examination, that God has given us the ability to affect the outcomes of every aspect of our lives, simply by determining what we believe is true about it.  Our beliefs change every aspect of our life.  If you believe things will always go wrong, then you will experience that outcome.  If your approach to your fellow-man is negative, then you will reap the benefit of your view of others, and have no genuine friends.

Attitude is one of the very first things the Lord had to really work with me on.  I was a negative and pessimistic individual, whose attitude was reinforced by the outcomes of my life.  My assumption was that I was right because everything always turned out exactly as I thought they would.  God showed me that attitude is a choice.  How I choose to approach anything will directly affect the outcomes.  Attitude is a choice.  It is a habit.  It comes from the heart.  It becomes positive when you learn to look at the world differently.

 

“HOW DID YOU DO IT?”

I’m glad you asked. I didn’t.

My attitude about life, work, love, marriage, co-workers, clientele, family, or anything didn’t change until I fully understood what the finished work of the cross gave me.  When I accepted that Jesus BECAME all sin for all time, and took on the wrath of God in our place, and in exchange, God poured on us all the benefits of being His child, an heir to the throne, a member of God’s family, a love beyond measure, and total forgiveness for all my sin, I finally understood what it felt like to see the world and people the way God does.

I learned to love because God loved me enough to bury my sin with Jesus, and raise my dead soul into a new life.  I had been born in the spirit.  Where I was dead, Jesus’s resurrection gave me life in Him.  The Spirit of God cleansed me and changed my attitude. I began thinking new thoughts.,  I loved for the first time.  I saw people as my brother or sister.  While I am aware of my and others continuing failures, I felt only love for them, and chose to show grace and mercy.  It was easy to do this because this was what God showed me.

So, frankly, I didn’t change my attitude.  Experience has taught me that, I can fake a good attitude only so long, but whatever is hidden in my heart will become manifest over time.  On my own strength I do not love long, I show no mercy or grace, and my attitude is very rotten.  Since I no longer live, but Christ lives in me, I am able to be like Christ and love, show grace and mercy, and look for opportunities to give with a positive attitude.

 

GUARD YOUR THOUGHTS

 

I cannot, by my own strength, maintain this loving attitude.  Only when I guard my thoughts am I able to be filled with this powerful love.  I can break my connection to God simply by going back to my old way of thinking and behaving.  God leaves this up to me.  The way I maintain a good attitude is by staying in the word, praying continuously, and submitting to Gods love and will.  It is only by the continual renewing of my mind that I can be a blessing instead of a curse. I am confident in Christ enough that I know I am weak, but Christ in me is infinitely strong.  If I catch the old self trying to assert his attitude and beliefs, all I have to do is remember that my old self died with Christ, and my new self, the child of God, is who lives through Christ.

Attitude is a choice.  When the blowing wind of earthly things challenges my attitude, when the weight of the world wants to crush me, when my co-workers decide to be peevish and negative, when a thoughtless and selfish humanity threatens to ruin my day, I simply remember who I am in Christ, and ask the Spirit of the Living God to sustain me so I can be a witness to all the things that would otherwise drag me down.  A simple choice of attitude can turn things around, and your witness can cause others to want to know where you have this strength of character.  Then you can tell them why you are joyful in the face of adversity, and strong when temptation desires your soul.

Think on the good things of God continuously, and you will see the world in a very different lite.

It is all a choice, a labor into the rest of the finished work of Christ.

You will always get what you are looking for.

Let’s be about it

I love you all,

David G. Perkins

PS – Click HERE to see how the Bible addresses ATTITUDE.

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Revealed Truth, or Religious Bigotry?


Holy Pottery‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.  ‘Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. ‘You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.  ‘I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.’  Jeremiah 29:11-14 NASB

I have not written in the last few days.  I had to ask myself some hard questions.  One of those questions was:  “Am I showing the truth, or being a religious bigot?”

An opportunity to answer this question presented itself, today.  So, now I can tell you what I have learned.  I am not going to bore you with my testimony.  Let my current life be my testimony.  And I am a work in progress.  But over these past two weeks, I have been struggling with how dogmatic my writing sounds.

I am by God‘s grace, and training, a researcher, and an analyst.  I am very good at it too.  I will not bore you with this, either.  I say it so I can tell you this:

The difference between a researcher and a religious bigot is, the religious bigot will not accept that any other point of view, other than his own, is true.  He will be so dug in that he cannot, and will not, even entertain conversation that will allow a different point of view.

The Religious Bigot believes that his answer, even if it contradicts hard evidence, or Jesus Himself, is actually the correct one.  And the contradiction against Christ does not present a mental conundrum to him, either.  The religious bigot will plot the curve then try to find data that supports it, or will bend the existing data to force it to agree with it.  He has the answer before he knows the question.  In his heart, he has cut out several things Christ has had to say about Himself, Salvation, and what it really means to follow Him.

A researcher will look at as much evidence he can find.  He will weigh the evidence.  He will let the evidence speak for itself. He will suspend his biases in order to see if something is hidden in the data that he would otherwise not choose to see.  Even if that data represents a major threat to his understanding of things, he will look.  If the shock doesn’t kill him, he will adapt to that truth.  He knows the difference between a truth and an opinion of a truth, even in his own mental frame-work.

I have spent, literally, all my life researching and studying as many religions as I could find.  I even attended many of their religious meetings in order to get a better understanding of them.

All my research has driven me back to some very basic truths.  This has shown me the difference between what you call a fundamentalist and what I call a fundamentalist.   A fundamentalist, in any religion, has boiled his faith down to things that are the bottom line of his faith.  The American definition of a fundamentalist is actually the definition of a religious bigot.

Here was the hard part.  There is only so much the human mind can comprehend when it comes to spiritual matters.  There comes a time when you must rely on faith and hope.

In Christianity, I have discovered that, the gift of Faith comes from God alone.  And when I rely on it, I am shown things that have been right in front of me all along, but did not have “The Third Eye” opened to it, yet.

Being a researcher, I am open to every possible interpretation of any event that you can imagine.  I know that, if I have the truth, nothing can remove it from my heart.  However interesting and entertaining that journey into another viewpoint is, I can test it against the baseline of revealed truth, and know it for what it is.

Am I dogmatic?  Absolutely.  What I have been writing about all this time is directly from the scriptures.  There is no room for my opinion of it, or my interpretation of it.  It is the truth as Jesus and the Apostles, and God have revealed it in the scriptures.

As a researcher, I want to hear other views.  I am not afraid of differing opinions, or what others think is revealed truth.  I can do this without my ego being attached to it because I have learned, in my return to Christ that “Truth is its own witness, and Time is the Judge of all truths.”

I am dogmatic over the things I have delved into, and have seen for myself are true.  There are things that are true that I could never discuss in a church or over a pulpit.  I have learned the hard way that, even though it is the truth, most people cannot fathom that it is true.  I have discovered that, even things that are mentioned in the Bible are outright rejected by most American Christians.

But what I know, I must write about..  What I write about are truths as revealed in Scripture, and how God has applied it to my life, and my wife’s life.  We are in total agreement over these things.  We arrived at this over very different routs. She is my partner and my love, and we walk together in our calling.

WHAT THIS BOILS DOWN TO

It is a heart condition that will keep us from growing to be like Christ.

When you are saved, spiritually, you are complete.  The Holy Spirit marks you as being a child of the Living God because of your faith, IN YOUR HEART, that Jesus Christ is who he said he is, and did what he said he will do.  Your faith was born in your heart, after God placed the seed of faith in you.

Spiritually, you are complete.  There is nothing lacking in you spiritually.

The reason you were not raptured when you were saved, is so that that spirit can take over your heart.

Here is a good explanation of this:

THE CONDITION OF THE HUMAN HEART

In Scripture, the heart is the seat of indwelling sin as well as its subject. It is from the heart that indwelling sin springs in a person’s experience. Indeed, sin has invaded as an enemy and now possesses the very throne of God himself. So says the preacher:

Ecclesiastes 9:3 This is the unfortunate thing about everything that happens on earth: the same fate awaits everyone; The hearts of all people are full of evil, and there is madness in their hearts during their lives—then they die.

This is a very good description of the heart.  When you are saved, you are complete in the eyes of GOd.  This is because the Holy Spirit now dwells in you.  However,  “When he [the Holy Spirit] comes, he will convict the world, and show where right and wrong and judgment lie. He will convict them of wrong…”  John 16:8 (NEB).  (Click the link, you will find a very well written article that covers this topic in-depth).

Being complete in the spirit is why you are saved.  But the heart has to be Cleaned out of all its old habits.  It is the heart that contains all our sin, impulses, evil and wayward living.  If you really want to grow to be like Jesus, you cannot stay content being complete in the spirit, you will want God to do His heart surgery on you.  Even if you know it might hurt.

I strongly recommend this book if you want a complete study of why this cleaning is part of the Grace of God:

“Grace: The Power To Change”, by Dr. James B. Richards, 1993 ISBN: 0-924748-07-9  Look it up at your favorite book dealer.  CDB carries it.

So, if I am a dogmatic about anything, I am dogmatic about the lessons I have had to learn, by allowing the Holy Spirit to work in my life.  It is hard work, and it comes only as we are willing to submit to these changes. It is a work I was never willing to do myself.  But the Spirit of God compels me to submit to a work only He can do in me.

The fact that I am willing to change according to the will of God proves I am not being a religious bigot.  I am very open to any change the Spirit of God needs to make in me so that I will end up being just like Christ, my Lord.  I am willing to sacrifice anything and everything I love and hold dear, if it is what God needs me to do, if it will mean I get to be like Jesus.  That especially includes all the hidden matters of my heart.

You must be willing to have your heart changed.  Eventually the Spirit of God will tire of you quenching it.  If, in your wisdom (Translates to Arrogance),  you want to delude yourself into thinking that you do not need to change your heart, fine.  My invitation is only to those who, like me, have  discovered the Lordship of Christ.  Jesus is more than a Savior.  In order to understand the Lordship of Christ, a Christian must be teachable, and allow the Holy Spirit, not your opinion, to be the teacher.

Lets Be About It.

I love you,

David Perkins

sammy.snardfarkle@gmail.com

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Eternity In Your Heart


Earth and Star

This is blog 1 for August 12th, 2013.  Blog 2 will follow.  It will be along the lines of the message I have been given to share.

For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.  Isaiah 57:15

Why do I write?  Whom is my message for?  Is it really MY message?  How do I have the right to say the things I say?   This is not my “normal daily” post, that will follow this one.  This post is an editorial based on my understanding what I have been called to do.  Normally, I am indifferent to the hostility, and not too concerned over all the indifference.  I knew this was coming before I started blogging.

Hostility can mean I hit a nerve.  Whether I hit that nerve in a good way or a bad one is usually revealed in the emails I get. If I discern that I was misunderstood, I make amends as quickly as possible.  If I discover otherwise, I let it alone.  Only a fool grabs a dog by its ears.

Indifference is something I have no control over.  Only God Himself can cure that.

So why do I write?  Is it to get attention?  No.  Is it to gain popularity? I have never enjoyed a huge amount of popularity. But I understand the importance of what I have been given to say.  The message I have is unpopular, and the target audience is so narrow, I expect nothing much in return.

So, why do I write, and to whom do I write it?

I write to those brothers and sisters who have eternity in their hearts.  They are either in the process of understanding salvation, or were once aware of their salvation.  The fire burns, however small, in their hearts.  They know something is missing.  They know that the life they are now living is not what they set out to live.  They understand that what they are doing is not what they thought it would be.

I write to them because I have lived that life, and am sharing everything I have come to understand in the process of coming home.  If you already have your pet religion, and “God in the Box”, then this message was never intended to be for you.  You are still welcome to read it, but it is not for you.

To you who have this song of Heaven still echoing somewhere in your heart and soul, I am writing.  You once understood the joy of salvation, or you are about to understand the joy of salvation.  You are far away from that joy.  You have done things that you hope never, EVER make the light of day.  The burden of your wanderings are so great, you have given up any hope of being allowed to return to God.  And even when you think you want to go home, you have, somehow, convinced yourself that there is no way you can ever return to God.

I get that.  I have been there.  I have despaired to the point that I wanted to die and get it over with.  And just as I had given up completely, God stepped in and showed me something.  And that something is what I am writing to you.

YOU ARE SAVED:

You understand that there is sin in your life.  You understand that sin separates you from God.  You understand that if you die in this sin, you will also experience the death of your soul.  You understand that God loved Humanity so much, He sent Jesus, the only begotten Son of God, to take your place, die on the cross, and absorb ALL the wrath of God, so you do not have to.  You confess that Jesus rose Himself from the dead to prove He has power over life and death.   If you have made this confession, or do make this confession, then you are saved.  There is no power in existence that can take that away from you.  No person or religion has the right or ability to condemn you for what you have done.  In God’s eyes, you are complete.  You cannot even take yourself from God’s hands.  His gifts are without repentance.

YOU KNOW THERE IS MORE:

You ask yourself why, if I am saved, do I keep sinning, and have no peace, and don’t like where my life has taken me?  Why does God hate me?  Why cannot I find peace.  You know there is more to your life than the lies you bought at the expense of your heart, at the expense of your family, your friends, and everything else you held dear. Most of the time, you even doubt there is even a God who really cares.

But the fact that you ask yourself this, that you wrestle with this, that you cannot find peace in your current circumstances means that the conscience God has given you is uneasy with where you are now.  It is the proof that you belong to God.

I can say this, because I just left that place.

You still have Eternity in your heart.  That eternity was given to you by God.  You are his beloved child.  And that Eternity is calling you home.  Not to leave this earthly plane, but to return to His embrace.  He is waiting for you.  And when he sees you turn around, HE will rush to you and take you up in His arms.  He is longing with all His might to show you that He has always been there, that He loves you, that your life is only beginning when you come home.  The chains you are in are there only by your will, not his.  His love breaks all chains.  His mercy redeems any loss you have known.  His Grace has covered everything you have been doing.  When He looks at you, He sees the blood of Christ.  The only thing keeping you from God is you.  It is simply your will.  He has never gone away from you.

It is to you that I write.  I can because I have come home, and have not looked back.  Any losses I have known are replaced with His love and forgiveness.  I no longer fear.  I no longer am angry.  I no longer despair of my sin.  I have come home.  This is what God is urging you to do.  Come home.

THERE IS WORK TO DO:

After you return, God will heal your wounds, show you things that you have not been able to see on your own.  Wisdom will be your love, and understanding will become your companion.  God will show you that you could never have even been saved had it not been for His will at work in you.  And now that you are home, and healing, God will show you the exact same thing He has shown me.

There is a final harvest coming all over the world.  There are millions of people who are lost and have no idea that they do not have to be.  In your environment, if you are willing and have a submitted heart, God will take your old character out, and replace it with the character of Jesus Christ.  You may be the “only Jesus” people around you see.  But the reason you have the longings you do, is because you feel the call of God to bring you Home to be made into a disciple of Jesus Christ.

This call is for anyone who is saved. Many will respond.  Not many will be chosen.  All are saved, but few are willing to go through what it takes to be a disciple.  The secret of this success lay not in your ability, not in your intelligence, and not in any religion, or religious point of view.   There is only the point of view God has revealed in the Scriptures.  There is only the point of view as revealed by Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

You are the one to whom I write.  I write to you because I can attest that this is real. Is is sweet.  It is amazing.  It is also hard and defies any human logic and common sense.  The really hard part is, there is no room for compromise where Christ is concerned.  This is why you will meet resistance as you change into the image of Christ.  You will have to do battle with your own understanding of things, you own ego, your own common sense, and any religious point of view you vaguely remember following.

Jesus did not come here to start a religion.  He came here to save your soul.  Now He needs people to follow Him to complete the upcoming  revival. There are many souls and not much time.

YOU WILL KNOW:

You will know if what I am telling you is true or not.  You will know because, lately, God has been sending witnesses who show you some of this, or that, and in pieces, you are putting this puzzle together.  You will know I am speaking the truth by how your soul reacts to it.  Even if your mind rejects it now, even if this message sounds judgmental or intolerant, you will know in your soul I am describing you.  Come home, for Christ’s sake.

You will know if this message is not for you, too.  You will know because it trips up your understanding of God.  It messes with your religion.  Because you would rather judge the messenger than listen to the message.  But the message I write is true.  I am not writing to anyone who cannot receive it.

I don’t know who you are, but God does.  I don’t have a religion to support, I don’t have any pep talks to make you feel better about being selfish.  I have no ‘affirmations” that will give you immediate blessings of health or wealth.  All I even have is my salvation.  I have chosen to come home.  I am one beggar telling another beggar where I found food, water, and a place to rest.

WHY IS IT HARD?:

It is hard because:

1.  You will have to allow God to humble you.

2.  You will have to be willing to surrender everything you have and know in order to follow Him.

3.  You will have to go through the experience of being shown how God is in charge of everything that happens, and that He has your best interest in mind, no matter what experiences you will go through.

4.  You will have to face the fact that, when you really start telling the truth, no one wants to hear it, and you will lose friends (But gain even better ones), and you will probably be laughed at a LOT because of the changes that God is making in you.

WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?:

1. Peace

2. Love

3. Mercy

4. Grace

5. Patience

6. Joy

7. Courage

8. Rewards in heaven.

Being saved means you get to go there when you die.  Rewards are based on your willingness to submit to be made into the image of Christ and obey Him in all things.  The gain you will have will be given to you when you get there.  Any blessing you get while still here will be for the growth of God’s Kingdom.  God is not interested in growing YOUR church.  He is interested in growing the number of the fellowship of believers.

I am writing this to you because it is currently what Sandy and I are going through.  I can write this because I have been where you are.

Come home.

I love you.

David G. Perkins

sammy.snardfarkle@gmail.com

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Come Home


Welcome Home!

All ye who are weary, come home.

For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, hostile powers, height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord! Romans 8:38-39 HCSB

Wherever I have wandered, wherever I have strayed, I found no place or thing that could extinguish the memory of the day I was saved.  Jesus Christ had become my Lord and Savior on October 28th, 1986, at 7:30 PM CST.  For a while, after that, I walked in my salvation and told others how Jesus Christ will lead them to salvation.  I was warned in advance that an event would happen that, if I stood under the shelter of the Almighty, I would be carried through that event, and made stronger.  I failed that test.  From there I fell.

I fell hard.  I lost hope, and from there, I refused to follow Christ.  The ensuing 20 years was a hell I never want to live through again.

I know I have told this to you several times.  Here is why I am telling it to you again.  Try as I might, I couldn’t forget God.  I could not forget the joy of His fellowship.  No amount of drink, adrenalin inducing activity, or women, could erase the call God had placed on my life.

I discovered that, in the end, there was no power in all of creation that could extinguish that sweet touch of the Love of God.  The flame of my devotion had dwindled to a small ember, but the ember never went out.  I couldn’t put it out, no matter what I did.

I also discovered that ember was the abiding love of God, through Jesus Christ.  Even in the depths of my depravity, I could hear the still small voice calling me home.  I longed for a return to Grace, not understanding that it was grace sustaining me, and keeping me tethered to God.

Where I was the only barrier keeping me from coming home, the Spirit of God was the wind that kept the ember burning bright, calling me to come home.  What a sweet agony it was to hear the voice of the Lord calling me to return to Him.  Where I thought it was impossible to return, He was telling me it was simple.  All I had to do was be still, and listen to Him forgive me, and heal all my sin and hurt and pain.

I came Home.

I know for a fact that one of the readers of this Blog is going through the same thing.  You remember the sweet fellowship of Jesus.  You remember singing His praises.  Somehow, you have let the cares of the world, and the desires of the flesh come between you and Him.  The Apostle Paul wrote that, if it weren’t for the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life, there would be no sin.  You and I can testify to that truth, because we have drunk deep of these three things.

Know this, there is noting you can possibly do that will take you away from Him and His love for you.  How do you get home?  Go back to what you know.  “God loved the world so much that He gave His only begotten Son that, whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting Life.”  John 3:16.   Start there.  And be still.  Listen to the voice of the Lord.  He will wash you with His Love and mercy.  His grace has sustained you, even though you have strayed very far away.  When you be still and know that He is God, you will discover, all you have done is wander across the palm of the hand of the Almighty.  He never, ever, let you out of His sight.  He never abandoned you.  He never stopped loving you, no matter what you did.

Be still and accept His healing power.

When Jesus said, on the cross, “It is finished!”, He was declaring that all sin ever committed, all sin being committed, and all sin that will be committed has been put to death through His death on the cross.  God poured His wrath on His own Son, and Jesus accepted that judgement, on your behalf.  You are free from this burden.  

When you come home, you will not find a vengeful God waiting to stomp you in to the dirt.  Christ does not have to die twice for you.  The work on the cross was completed at His death.  And your eternal life was secured when He rose again from the death.  He is Lord over all life and death.

At one point in time, you accepted Jesus as your Savior, the deal was done.  Your salvation was sealed.  Nothing can remove you from God.  Not even you.  When Jesus said, “It is Finished”, God saw you as already complete.

Life as you know it, is a continuing process of making you into the image of Christ.  When we wandered, that process was interrupted.  He is waiting for you right where the process stopped, so that He can heal you and continue making you into the image of Christ.

Come home.

Yahweh, if You considered sins, Lord, who could stand?

But with You there is forgiveness,
so that You may be revered.  Psalm 130: 3-4 HCSB
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Me and My Big Mouth


If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless . James 1:26

This is a tough topic.  I want to tell you a story.  Before I do, though, I want to say something from my heart.  

The subject of controlling the tongue is difficult for me.  My passions run very deep.  When I experience a thing, I tend to experience it all the way down to my toes, and deep in my soul.  I am only just now learning the discipline of the tongue.  I am not like Christ in this regard.  I am swift to speak, and slow to listen.  So, my writing about this topic is from fresh experience.  I am guilty of the very thing that I despise about religious people. Religious people lack self-control. They do not allow  God guide their tongue in love and wisdom, instead of in haste, which leads to harm.  I cannot throw stones when I am as guilty as those who do not belong to God.  If I am to grow to be like Christ, I must submit my passions and my tongue to His lordship.  It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that a person can overcome the evil the tongue can generate.  If we are to be like Christ, and want to tell others we are the Children of God, then we must be willing to submit even our favorite sin to God.  This i snot something we can do for ourselves.

For all those whose bodies lay on the ground in my quest for self righteousness, please forgive me for being a fool.  God is not interested in my self-righteousness.  He is interested in me having His righteousness.

“A tale bearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.” Proverbs 11:13

I know a man who used to live one county away from where I live.  He had a walk with the Lord, but life got in the way, and he didn’t submit to the will of God, and he did things his own way.  The end result is, he sinned against his own family.  He knew after the fact that he had sinned.  He called it sin.  He confessed this sin.  He grieved for his sin.

The people who he knew, who were sincere in their faith, who went to church, who prayed, who tithed, who spoke often of the love of God, and His grace, who were worship leaders and preachers and deacons, these people shunned him, and hated him because they genuinely loved his family, and hated what he had done.  He wanted to talk to someone, anyone, about this, and how to return to God, to seek forgiveness, to know the joy of fellowship.  He couldn’t find any one in his town who would help him, and counsel him, and lead him back to the grace of God.  He became the target of their hate, instead.  This didn’t need to happen.  But it happened because one of the fellowship could not wait to spread this juicy bit of gossip to the other believers, who also loved this man’s family.

In their fervor to be supportive of this man’s family, the spoke curses on this man, they openly held him in contempt.  They advised his wife to abandon him.  The pronounced he was not worthy of their fellowship.

Eventually, because of the loose tongues of two of his wife’s relatives, the entire community had heard about it.  The story was repeated with all the vileness of the sin glorified, and with all the righteousness as if they were God.

This man felt alone and hopeless, by this time.  No one would befriend him.  He found a couple of Christian men he thought he could befriend, but eventually, the wagging tongues of the “faithful” reached these men’s ears, and they decided it would be best to not be friends after all.

By this time, he felt that, if so many Christians were condemning him, then so must God be condemning him.   he wondered how he will ever return to God, if he is being so rejected by people who represent Him.

His hopes were raised, one day, when he found someone who would actually pray with him.  He finally had made a friend.  But before two days had passed, this new friend had his ears bent by one of the Christians who hated him.  That new friend told him that he was no longer welcome to come see him.

Rejected again by Christians, he believed he was beyond redemption.  He took up drinking with a commitment.  He knew this, too, was wrong, but he felt that he was too far gone from God to be redeemed.  After all, most of the Christians he knew were telling him that.

He gave up.  He withdrew his heart completely.  People would not hire him anymore, so he kept having to go from job to job.  He would be at a job for a while, but, eventually, his employer heard about what a terrible man he was, and found a way to let him go.  By this time, the sin he had committed had been embellished.  Over time, it took on the landscape of more than what had actually happened.  He heard many terrible things that were being said about him.  The hate the Christians showed him merely amplified with every retelling of this sin, that, by this time, had happened Severn years ago.  It grew like a cancer.

Every now and then, he would try to talk to these believers about what to do to return.  Their contempt had grown to the point that they told him he would be better off dead.  these people kept trying to break up the marriage.  They kept telling him he needs to get out-of-town, and never return. They were speaking death into his life, and into his marriage.  It got so that, they damage they were doing was far worse than the damage he had done in the first place.  These people wouldn’t leave his wife alone about it, and continuously discouraged her attempts to heal her home.  They almost caved in to the wagging tongues of these people, but somehow, they continued to work through all the noise and despair these people were encouraging in his wife.

Today, they are healed, and healing.  But it was not because of any effort of the believers who kept wagging their tongues, keeping the pain stirred up.  The were actually not happy that she had the strength and courage to work at this relationship with him.  All they wanted was vengeance.  All they wanted was their sense of justice.  And they wouldn’t let up on her, even though healing had begun in her home.

I got to watch all this, and I had several long talks with this man.  He was in a very dark place.  His wife was torn between taking the advice of this fellowship of Christians, or standing her ground and continue to fight for a promise she believed in .  The spoke death to her, but her faith in God spoke life.  She persevered through all the darkness and difficulty, and saw God do a wondrous work in this man’s life.  Yes they still spoke death.  He drew near to the Lord, and let the Lord deal with him and his sin.  Yet they spoke death.  They preached about a grace they did not practice.  they spoke about a love they refused to show.  They spoke about forgiveness, but didn’t forgive what they had already condemned.

Today, this man is becoming a powerful Christian.  he has given his heart, Mind, Soul, Strength to the Living God.  he often asks me what it will take before these other believers will stop gossiping about him, and start rejoicing that he is genuinely saved, and that God is working a wonder in his life.

I told him I had no idea.  It is hard to tell with people who love to hate, and love to spread death with their mouths.  I told him that, all he could do was keep obeying God, and stop worrying about all these well-intentioned dragons.  This is hard.  I even wanted to hate these people, but I don’t.  I love them.  I could see that this man loved them too, with a deep abiding love.  Only God could do this to a man like him.

I felt a searing pain in my own heart.  How many times has my tongue led me to cause harm?  How often have I been so self-righteous that all I could speak is distension and hate?  I cannot throw stones at those Christians who continuously showed such a lack of understanding of the will of God.  How often had I been so in love with my opinion that I didn’t take the time to see what God and His word had to say about it?  When did I forget that, for the grace of God, there go I.  I get religious just like everyone else, on occasion.  It is only when I am sensitive to the will and voice of God, that I remember that He showed me love and mercy and grace when I least deserved it.  I could easily plead that “That is just how I am!”.  But that is no excuse to the Living God.  We are born with a personality and a character.  Our character reflects who we live for.  Our character is expressed through our personality.  When the Holy Spirit comes in to you, He will replace your Character with God’s, as you submit to Him.  We are created in His image (We look like him) and in His likeness (We were supposed to act like him).  When sin became our inheritance, we lost God’s character and traded it for a cheap imitation.  When we believed in Jesus Christ as both Savior and Lord, then the Spirit of God moved in to make us in the likeness of Jesus, as we allow him to.  You will receive the Character of God, expressed in your unique personality.  And your personality becomes under control by the discipline of the Spirit of God.

The tongue has the power to heal, and the power to destroy.  The way it is used reveals who our master really is.  Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy.  But Christ gives us life. love, mercy and joy.  Those who have been touched by this love do not see the importance of gossip.  They only desire to be like their Lord, Jesus Christ.

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”  Proverbs 12:18  KJV

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Forgiveness, the Test of Authenticity


“But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil [souls][humans]. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.  Luke 6: 35 – 37 NASB

Also, do not take seriously all words which are spoken, so that you will not hear your servant cursing you. For you also have realized that you likewise have many times cursed others.. Eccl 7:21 – 22 NASB

SCRIPTURES COPIED FROM:  http://www.blueletterbible.org/

THIS ONE IS PERSONAL.  I HAVE CHOSEN TO EXPOSE MYSELF IN THIS REGARD SIMPLY BECAUSE MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME ALREADY KNOW MUCH THESE EVENTS.  I AM NOT LOOKING FOR YOUR PITY.  I WANT TO USE THIS VERY PERSONAL EVENT TO SHOW YOU HOW I FIRST LEARNED FORGIVENESS.

IT IS TO THEM, THE WELL INTENTIONED DRAGONS, THAT I DEDICATE THIS INSTALLMENT ON FORGIVENESS.  I REALLY LOVE YOU, HONESTLY, COMPLETELY. AND IN THE NAME OF JESUS, I LOVE YOU.

I am going to share with you a special case under the heading of Forgiveness.  It is a case that I struggle with.  To forgive and to be forgiven.  This is about accepting God‘s forgiveness, yet dealing with the unforgiving souls who insist that you are still damaged goods, in spite of what God has done.  In a later installment (Which I have not decided if I will post) I will deal with an extreme case of hatred, and where forgiveness comes into the picture.

20 years ago, God told me that my first marriage was going to end.  I knew a week before it happened that it was coming.  God let me know in no uncertain terms that, if I will cling to Him during this storm, He would sustain me, restore me, and make me stronger in the Lord than I could imagine.  The clouds were in the sky, but the storm had not hit, yet.

Although I could see this storm coming, I had not prepared my heart for the intensity of the storm.  And it was intense.  The year leading up to this storm, I had really begun to stray from God, through various acts of self righteousness.  I had become a Pharisee of the first order.  God had given me the privilege of seeing Moslems come to Christ in my ministry.  God had given me the privilege of seeing witches, satanists, and gang members come to the Lord.  He used me as His pen to draw the picture of salvation.  But in my pride and arrogance, I felt I could take it from there, and pretty much excluded God from His work in me.  I had stopped bible reading and prayer.   I began to allow the little foxes of sin and pride into my garden.  Eventually, I was screwing up my life, and didn’t understand it was my fault.

Then the storm hit.

My heart was not prepared for it, even though God had let me know in very clear terms it was coming.  The right thing for me to do would have been to repent of my sin, humble myself before the Lord, seek His forgiveness, and cling to Him for all I was worth.  But because I didn’t heed God’s warning, I was not able to withstand the unbearable intensity of losing my wife.

Even then I had the opportunity to repent and turn to God.  I failed that test, too.  I was letting my confusion, frustration and anger do my thinking.  I was allowed to have my way, and I was left to my own devices.  And I fell into even more sin than I could imagine was possible.

I left behind a trail of destruction.

Later on, I met my current wife.  I was still damaged goods.  The day I met her, the very instant I saw her, I had a vision of things to come.  I saw us married, and I saw my child.  I actually saw Hannah, years before she was born.  (There is more to that, and remind me to tell it to you).

What I saw scared me so badly, I ran away from her and hid for 6 weeks.  Anyone who knows me knows I don’t back down from anything.  But THIS vision truly horrified me.  See, I knew deep in my soul that I had not done business with God.  I had a lot of repentance to do.  I had a lot of forgiveness to seek and give.  I was seriously damaged goods.

Eventually, I screwed up my courage and called her, and we dated and eventually got married.  A year later, Hannah was born.

But I still lived in rebellion to God.  By this time, I genuinely began to crave that sweet relationship with God, but I wanted that relationship on my terms.  I didn’t want to go through the very hard time of repentance.  And I had some repenting to do.

Eventually, I let sin get the best of me again.  It was one of the big ones, and it caused a great deal of hurt in my marriage.

The details are none of your business.  But I sinned.  And I never sin in half measures.

The damage was bad.  Family on both side of the fence let me know in no uncertain terms what a schmuck I was.  Some even told me I would be better off dead.  Some cursed me to my face, and spared no expense telling everyone and everything that would listen what an incredible sin I had committed.  It affected my ability to make friends, it affected my ability to get a job (I live in a small town).  I was given the scarlet letter.  In the view of these well meaning dragons, I was irredeemable, and there will be no forgiveness to be had.  People told me to my face that they want me to leave, go away, never return, to do my wife a favor and disappear.  I genuinely got to see the dark side of the children of God.

Eventually, people I had never known would confront me about this sin. I learned that, not only do religious people love to hate, but they love to gossip, too.

I had begun to crave the presence of God in my life, and I wanted so bad to have a prayer partner.  While I was at work, one day, the guy that delivers our welding gases drove up.  He was very nice, very friendly.  Somehow, we began to talk about God.  I told him that I had fallen out of fellowship with God, and want to know the presence of God in my life.  He prayed with me and for me.  He told me I can come by his work-place anytime I wanted to pray with him.  He gave me his phone number.  I was so overjoyed, I actually started crying right there, in front of my co-workers.  I actually had someone to talk to, who wanted to work with me on the return to God.

A week later, I needed to go to that guys’ work place to buy an additional bottle of acetylene gas.  While my order was being filled, I went to that guy.  Instead of shaking my hand, I was met with a great deal of hostility.  It turned out that he was also a prayer partner with one of the well intentioned dragons who told me my family would be better off if I were dead.  I saw genuine hate in this man’s eyes.  He let me know what that well intentioned dragon had told him.  I was devastated that in an instant, a person I just met, who would pray with me, would turn on me with such vengeance.

My wife had a heart attack.

While she was in surgery, and I was waiting in the waiting room, I was told that one of my wife’s friends wanted to talk to me.  I got her phone number, and after I got home, late that night, I called her. It started out alright.  I wanted things to go well, as I have always admired this person.  I mean I genuinely loved this person.  The conversation suddenly turned ugly.  She let me know that there is no way that healing in my relationship with my wife would happen.  That this friend had been trying with all her might to get my wife to leave me and move in with her.  I was, once again, informed that the local world would be better off if I just went away.

I think it was this turn of events, my wife having a heart attack, her friends and relatives continually letting me know that it would be best if I just went away, seeing the dark hearts of Christians who couldn’t forgive, that I knew then I was genuinely lost to God.

I wrote in another installment on Forgiveness how to return to a forgiven state, and how to forgive.  The above events in my life are where I had to learn this process.

1. I turned to God.  I had to get back to the fundamentals of the faith, here.  I confessed that I know there is a God.  I confessed that I know that this God is THE creator, the great I AM of Scripture, the one who created us Humans.  I confessed that man fell from God just as I had fallen from God.  I confessed that God gave His only begotten Son to die for the sins I have committed, so I will not have to face God’s wrath, but have eternal life in Jesus Christ.  Then I confessed my anger.

I was angry at me.  A Lot.

I was angry at Christians who could not offer a healing hand, but offered only condemnation.  I was angry, angry, angry.  It was a deep and abiding anger that burned hot.  This was the hardest thing for me to face.  My anger.  God showed me how my anger does not further the Kingdom of God.

Until I could learn to place that at the feet of God, and let Him take it out of my heart, there would be no further progress in my restoration to Him.  Period.  This kind of anger has no place in the Kingdom, and I cannot return to the service of God if I insist on being angry.  It took from around 2007 to 2012 to work through that.  But God did His wonderful work in me, and helped me be rid of that hate and anger.  It is gone, now.  It is a distant echo.  God has shown me what I need to learn from it, and has healed me.  The lesson I learned here is, I cannot turn to people for help.  I must first turn to God.  People will be too married to their opinions and agenda to be able to help.  And I learned that that, too, is OK.  We are all human, and have things to work out with God.  It is not my place to judge them, or be angry with them.

2. BE WILLING.  I was in love with my anger.  It was all that drove me.  I had forgotten that there is more power in a whisper of God’s love than there is an a ton of anger and hate.  So this was a hard one foe me.  Here were people speaking death into my life, into my marriage, and “In the name of the Lord” letting me know just how irredeemable I was.  I was hurt, disappointed, angry, and these feelings had become so familiar, and so normal to me, that letting go of them was worse than having surgery with out pain killers.  (That happened to me once, it was awful).

But, Just as Jesus prayed in the garden, the night before His arrest, “Not my will, but thine.”  It took a lot of work for me to be willing to give up my anger.  I loved having an excuse to throw tantrums.  But God wanted to turn me into a man of God, not a child of the world.  I had to be willing to release that anger, hostility, rage, and resentment of all those well meaning dragons.  And, with the power of God’s grace, I did, and do, and will.  I willed that my will align with God’s will.  Not for their snakes, but mine.  My attitude had no place in God’s will for my life.  If I want to truly return to Him, I had to let go  of anger.  And the more my will aligned with God’s desire for my life, the more anger diminished, until it was only a memory.  And I was surprised by the intense JOY that replaced the anger.  Obedience to God brings joy, even when you think your world is going to hell.  I understood grace.  I felt mercy.  From there, it was a simple thing to let go of my hurt and anger, and forgive all the well intentioned dragons.  It is easier to accept those Christians who speak death in my life.  They honestly think they are doing the right thing.  How often had I thought that about my anger and hurt.  I get it.  We are all saved, but we are all incomplete.  We are all having to grow.  Now I am able to understand what Jesus meant when he prayed on the cross, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

I AM FREE!.  I AM FREE!  I AM FREE!!!  Free to dive deep into the word of God, free to love.  Free to pray for those who hate me.  Free to serve God.  Free to pray with my wife, who has forgiven me my sin.  What a joy it is to be married to the most incredible woman in the world.  I could search all my life and not find a woman as wonderful and great as she is.

I have given up “my right” to anger and hate, and unforgiveness.  For the first time in 20 years, I feel free, loving, forgiven, and I feel hope.  I feel JOY.  I can dance with King David and sing that the Lord my God, the Living God, has restored my soul.

It doesn’t matter one whit what people will say to you, about you, against you.  There is NOTHING on this earth you can do about it EXCEPT FORGIVE THEM.  Then you can let it go, and you will find you actually really love these well intentioned dragons.  REALLY love them and care about them.

The are just as fallen as you are.  You need to worry about your own walk in the Lord. Even if you have to do what I did and return to the fundamentals and grow from there.

I have not ever felt this freedom before.  EVER.  What a glorious God we serve.  What a powerful God he is that he can root out my sin and hold me close, and tell me he loves me.  It no longer matters who else loves me, not now that I know where I stand with God.

Listen, people who have their minds made up about you will only change when God deals with them.  Not a minute sooner.  You may raise people from the dead, right before their eyes, and they might still speak death into your life.  It is OK, the religious of Jesus’s day did the same thing.

Now, go, sit at God’s feet, and do business with the Lord.  I can tell you, as one who has come out of that bath, it is good, it is joy, it is clean.  God is GREAT.  And I thank God for this freedom.

I really want to hear from you if you need prayer.  I don’t care what evil you have done, I will not turn you away.  I can do this because it is what God has done for me.

I genuinely love you in the Name of Jesus, and because of God’s great love in my heart.

Now, go be about it.

David G. Perkins.

 

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